What would you think of a quiet clarinet?
It’s not that she’s mute, she’s just obstinate.
It’s the solos she hates, having to play all alone
Afraid of a wrong note or a weak reedy tone.
Afraid that performing out in a concert hall
She won’t be melodic – it will sound like a Yaawl.
Afraid that when playing Brahms she won’t do well
The same with Copeland, Gershwin and Ravell.
Instead of tackling that great intro to Rhapsody in Blue
She’ll pass on that glissando – it’s all that she can do.
Fearing a performance, she feels the safest place
Is for her to stay at home, tucked safely in her case.
Her beloved conductor found a solution for our clarinet
From now on she’ll only play in a chamber wind quartet.