What do you think of a shark who’s a vegetarian?
I guess I’ve always been a bit of a contrarian.
Other sharks are pissed off – they send angry tweets.
The producers on TV took me off of Shark Week.
I no longer eat red meat, even blonde surfer boys,
Burgers, penguins and squid, they bring me no joy.
For this shark, veggies, salad and melons will do.
Especially when served with some stir-fried tofu.
I took down my poster of that monster Jaws,
I no longer eat anything that once had paws.
My menu doesn’t have any Chicken of the Sea.
Now it’s Brussel sprouts, spinach and chopped kale for me.
Say goodbye to the beef, chicken, humans and hogs.
But here’s a secret: I still have a fondness for those dropkick dogs.